Old Letter

I found this letter in an old archive folder, and thought I'd post it here. This was written at a time after Seema and I were married, when I sent her back to India to help her family. Her dad had 3 small heart attacks, and required surgery, but refused to do it. I knew that if she went, he would not be able to refuse.

Here it is:

To My Dearest Seema

'If' is a term used in uncertainty. When spoken by a poet, it is nothing more than a fanciful possibility, and when spoken by the romantic, is a prelude to a dream. I reached that 'dream' state, Seema, when I first saw you, walking out of the airplane, the first time you ever came to the US. It was a dream, a possibility, and from the moment I first held your hand until now, that dream became reality. This is the greatest and happiest time of my life, when I am with you. Until this morning, I had no real idea of what peace could really be. And now, I live in a semi-state of dreaming, while I am away from you; if I close my eyes I see us.

'If' is a term used when one envisions a possibility that he is not sure he will ever see in reality. There once was a time when I only thought in 'ifs'. And as dreams are explained by 'ifs', so is reality explained by 'whens'. Now, Seema, my life is enriched by these many 'whens'.

If I had faith enough that the night-time stars could grant the greatest wish, then tomorrow I would open my eyes, and see you - I would hold open my arms to you and would vow that I would never leave, that I would never let you go. And I would stand by you through thick and thin, through the happiest times and those not so happy times, throughout forever.

I know the stars have not such a great power, but there is a power greater by far that is in my heart, and that is the love that I feel for you. I have no need for star-lit wishes, because this love shapes my life. And soon, when you return from helping your father, I know we will both be happier.

When that time comes, I will hold out my arms to you, with such a happy smile, and you will jump into them. When we're together, Seema, I will vow that I will never leave, and that I will never let you go. And from that moment on, my heart will be as happy - and more! - as it is whenever I hold your hand or share a sacred kiss. And I will stand by you through thick and thin, through the happiest times and through those that are sad, throughout forever.

If you ever doubt my love for you, close you eyes and remember the times we've had so far, and the love that's in my heart that I try so hard to show you. And think about the times to come. Those joyful times ahead may be dreams now, but will soon be realities, for they are no longer 'ifs', but 'whens'.

Seema, I love you! Now, and always!

Justin